Life as I Knew it.

Well it's been one week and five days since I gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl (yes, I'm bias, but what mother isn't?). The change has been unbelievable. Even though I've only been alone with her (without any company or help from Paul) for a total of about 5 hours, it has still been a huge adjustment for me. That one piece of advice everyone gives to new moms... you know, sleep when the baby is sleeping? Yeah, I'm totally doing that... now.

I didn't follow that advice the first week and 2 days... now I try and sleep EVERY time the baby sleeps. She is up at night, and sleeps during the day (but nurses every 2 to 3 hours). So I have become nocturnal, in a way, and I also sleep a lot during the day (and even though I want to sleep at night, too, it's simply impossible). Life as I knew it has definitely changed.

I don't wear regular clothes during the day... I'm in my comfiest pajamas. Unless I am going out of the house for an appointment or church, I look like Quasi-Modo in a robe.

When company is no longer here to help out, I know that showers with hair washes will be a delicacy. I'm taking advantage and showering like crazy these days!

Even though we don't have her in bed with us (EVER!), I still always wake up panicked thinking I left her nursing in my arms and the comforter has smothered her or something terrible like that. Every. Single. Time. I guess those mini heart attacks officially make me a mom...? It's so scary, I hate it!

It's weird to think that this little baby was inside me less than two weeks ago and that back then, I wouldn't have been able to imagine a newborn in my arms right now and see myself as a mother. Amazing how things change... it's so surreal! This past year, Paul and I would look at each other and say with disbelief, "We're married!!" Tonight we looked at each other and said, "We're married... and we have a baby!!" Ahhhh!

I haven't needed to cook yet, but I'm sure that will be a totally new and challenging experience when the time comes.

I'm scared to paint my nails (but it's what has kept me form biting them)... I never know when she'll wake up from her nap when I think about doing them and how harmful the fumes may be if I do get them done.

I never thought I'd be good at diaper changing... I'm still not a pro, but I try and get it done as fast and as efficient as I can before she pees on me, or herself, or launches another poop rocket on the carpet.

I'm sure I have many more examples of how my life as I knew it has changed, but little one is about to need some major help in burping, so I'll just leave you with some cute pictures ;)

My Daughter is Here!!!

Click here to read her birth story!

Thoughts, Feelings, Cravings

Draft after draft I write. About what I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, what I'm craving... things just never seem to be good enough for a post. The last one wasn't even that good; it was a complaint. I'm surprised I didn't get reprimanded for my lack of sensitivity. How can someone who was so worried about conceiving in the first place be so caught up in the negatives of pregnancy. They should be welcomed with open arms! Everyday should be a blessing that there is still life inside me, that she is still there, and that there is still hope that she will be here next month, breathing on her own and smiling (do they smile that first month?).

This is what I'm feeling! Blessed. Blessed that not only am I able to grow a life inside me, but that, so far (and I can only pray at this point), that life is perfect and healthy. I have never had to go through a miscarriage. There have been no middle-of-the-night scares where a hospital visit was necessary. The discomforts I have felt have been normal and very much on time with what a pregnancy is like with a healthy baby. Feeling nostalgic about my pre-pregnancy body is normal, but how can that even be an issue?! This is a miracle!

I'm thinking that God doesn't normally humble people with a perfect situation... like a perfect life or a perfect family or even a perfect pregnancy (I use the word "perfect" pretty liberally here. What I mean to say is ideal). Yes, there will always be some potholes in the road, but overall, things have been amazing for me. I think it is safe to say that this experience could not have been a better one. There are hard times still to come with this (I'm not completely ignorant), but now that I've realized my blessing, maybe this will help me cope with the unknown.

My cravings have become more emotional than physical. I crave that feeling of falling in the love for the very first time with my little one. I've seen it so many times and even though I have never truly experienced it, I know it must be special. Every one who has gone through this tells my husband and me, "Oh, she will just steal your heart the moment you lay eyes on her." I also crave the knowledge every new mom does not have. What way soothes her best when she is fussy? When will she sleep? How long? How will she react to the vacuum noise? Every child is different. Unique. Special. Amazing.

So with draft after draft, I can only hope that this makes it onto the page. Bottom line is that I am blessed. SO so blessed.

April 26th might not be when I meet her, but it makes me happy to know that she is coming one way or another and that all of these thoughts I'm thinking, feelings that I feel, and cravings that I crave, will come to pass with thoughts of love and blessings, feelings of fulfillment and joy, and cravings for hugs and kisses.

Things I Miss While Being Pregnant...

Ok, so this may sound a little absurd, but I never realized how much I took for granted (every day of my life) before becoming pregnant. It's amazing the things we do that bears no thought in every day life. I'm also feeling a bit edgy so some sarcasm may be imminent. So, with that said, I give you a few things I've missed during my pregnancy:

Not smelling every little thing. At first I thought I could use it as a super power... for good. It turns out that the only smells that are really strong to me are the ones that make me want to gag. I'd love to smell those lovely lilies that are across the room; instead, it's the dish rag 50 feet away from the lilies in the kitchen in the NEXT room that needs washing.

Not having to create an exit strategy every time I need to get up from the bed or couch. When did this get so hard for me?! Usually you just sit up and stand... now I need to form a whole routine just to land my feet on the floor and then wait a few seconds before walking. Oh, and the hubby "helping" by pushing you cannot be further from the truth.

Shoes that fit (besides tennis shoes). It's not like I'm really going to waltz around in rockin' high heels or anything, but it would be nice if I could zip those cute heel-less brown boots that are so stylish with leggings and a dress.

Deli meat. Sometimes a girl just wants a nice, yummy ham, cheese, tomato, and lettuce with mayo sandwich for lunch... everyday. Okay, so I've cheated a few times when we were over at the in-laws, but I am SO looking forward to this delight in less than a month.

Red wine... beer... girly drinks... OK, so almost any type of alcohol!! It's like it's one of my cravings! I don't really drink that much, but it's nice to know that I can sit in the living with a good book or good TV show with a glass of wine or two if I want.

Sleeping on my back... or even stomach (a good nights sleep in general). I'm not a side sleeper at all and this has totally messed up my sleep vibe. I used to be a pro! Now all I can say is thank God for naps. Oh, and that acid reflux and heartburn!

Not having to go to the restroom every hour! I catch myself worrying every time we go out (which is not a lot) if there's a bathroom there or not... and what condition it's in. It's becoming like a game to me... pathetic, I know.

Having less "fat days". Every woman, whether they are stick thin or not, has fat days. I miss the days when I did't look like a whale (or as hubby puts it, "a cute whale"... that man!). Every day is a fat day. Some are worse than others, but you get the gist.

My feet! Where did they go?

Not weighing more than my husband, although in all fairness, he has lost a lot of weight since the wedding (yes, keep telling yourself that, Mary).

Walking normally. I'm a penguin. There, I said it.

Now that I've gotten this off my chest, I just want to say that in less than a month, I will be giving birth and wondering why I complained about any of this.

Please tune in next month for, "Things I Miss About Being Pregnant." ;)

These Days...

These days it's all about not forgetting things. I always thought the idea of what-is-called 'pregnancy brain' was nothing more than an excuse for an overly tired and somewhat bigger woman to put blame on her careless and clueless behaviors. Okay, maybe that was a bit harsh and I wasn't at all that heartless, but I never thought it was a real thing. And if I did, then I never thought I'd suffer from such a bizarre symptom.

It is. And. I do. ("That's all have to say about that")

These days I am making lists; colorful ones. It's been helping my confidence. Every time I feel like I'm going nuts, I just sit down and make a list: to dos, reminders, dinner menus for the upcoming weeks, grocery lists, budgets for grocery lists, etc.

It's all I really can do without completely losing my mind.

These days it's about getting ready for baby. How, you ask? By thinking and talking about maybe buying a crib, car seat, diapers, toiletries, and other so-called essentials for taking care of a small human being. You'd think we'd be fully equipped and ready for when this little girlie comes next month...

We aren't... but she does have some really cute clothes to wear :) (This is definitely going to come back and bite me in the butt)

These days I am trying my darndest to keep the apartment clean, all the laundry done and folded every other day, my hopes up about losing this baby weight after she comes (it's tough to admit, but this is killing me!), and a variety of healthy dinner options in mind for my hardworking, understanding, and loving husband to come home to every night. I'm really just trying to keep busy as well as be efficient with the time I have.

It's working so far!

These days I am missing my family and my friends. It's difficult being away from them for long periods of time. A phone call here and there helps, but their presence will be very much appreciated these upcoming months when they either come to visit or when Paul and I take some road trips.

Can't wait!

These days I have writer's block. It's been a long time since I've posted anything on here and I do apologize for my lack of motivation and ideas. When you are a stay-at-home pregnant wife who feels that it's a chore to get out of the house for any reason whatsoever, life becomes uneventful. However, I have become very involved in the kitchen which is something that I thought would never happen the first few months of marriage (it was a nightmare before!). Now, I am asking people for recipes and trying new dishes every week. It's becoming less and less scary with every meal. I'm still a beginner, but I'd like to think that I'm a lot further in my cooking skills, now, than I when I was cooking eight months ago.

Yippee!

These days I'm just living life as a pregnant wife who feels appreciated and loved every time her husband walks through the door in the evening with a, "Helloooo!" and an "I missed you!" We must still be in the 'honeymoon phase' because the whole apartment lights up when he comes home.

These days it's about taking one day at a time and spending as much time together as possible before baby comes. :)  Please keep us in your prayers as we continue this journey as newlyweds and, now, as new parents.

A Late Christmas Post

 I know, I know... I got lazy! I wanted to tell you about our family Christmas!! I told you about Preparation Day. I told you about Christmas Eve. Now it's time to share with you our Family Christmas of 2012!

I will start with the early morning, when some of us went to Midnight Mass and some stayed home (because they went that evening) and helped Santa arrange all of the presents. After church is a time to sit down on the couch by the tree and drink Godiva liqueur and talk with whomever stayed up late enough. I normally get pictures, but I was so worn out, I went straight to bed.

The next morning, the little ones were up by 6:30am. Since it is tradition for everyone to be awake and present when the opening of gifts commence, they had to wait a little bit. I'm pretty sure Tim (my brother), Paul, and I were the last to wake up at 8:30, so the kids were allowed to open their stockings while they waited. It took us about 3.5 hrs to open all of the presents because we go one at a time and in order from youngest to oldest. Here are some of the pictures from that morning!

 BIG Family :D

Papa and Brynach-Joe

 My wonderful, loving, amazing parents.

Paul and Brynach-Joe

Brother in-law, Colin.

Little Miss (niece)

Noah (nephew)

Little Miss and Mommy

Tea time with Uncle Paul!

After all the fun in the morning, we had a very nice rest of the day. We played games, went on walks, took naps, and just hung out. It was a good day :) Here are more pictures from the rest of Christmas!

Little Miss snuggling up with Uncle Tim. She had a routine this Christmas. Every evening around 4, you could find her sleeping on this couch or on the lap of someone. So cute!

Cousins, Tiger and Brynach-Joe

 Bearded sons with their father/father in-law. This past year, after the wedding, my father dawned a new look... a beard. He has always been clean shaven so it was so new for everyone and it has been a topic for discussion ever since seeing him. 

I think she looks like a Who out of Dr. Suess.

Siblings, Little Miss and Tiger

Monopoly! Auntie Katy, Beth, and Ethan.

Nutmeg and Brynach-Joe

Eddie and Uncle Paul, the explorers.

Making a fire with Grandpa!

The fabulous Katy!

So excited to make a fire!

TV time/ nap time (this was around 4pm).

Story time with Grandpa!

Story time with Grandma! Brynach-Joe loves to be read to.

Little Miss with Auntie Katy

Story time with Mama

Knitting time!

Guess what time it is :P

Another family dinner

Sisters, Erin and Katy

Sisters

Playing with Grandpa

Story time with Auntie Mary

All of the grandkids with their Grandma and Grandpa! (4 girls, 5 boys... so far)

(From left to right) Noah, Ethan, Gemma, Auntie Katy

Smiley Brynach-Joe!

The Fam! (minus Tim and Paul)

Grandpa and Little Miss playing.

Movie and popcorn!

Little family (minus Little Miss)

The two youngest cousins with their movie theater popcorn.

Banjo player

Happy family!

Sisters, Gemma and Mae

Grandpa and his Little Miss

The happy couple!

Another family dinner!

Sisters, Katy and Shannon

Sisters and their mama (minus Erin)

I have no idea what they were looking at, but it was a great shot!

Story time with Uncle Tim and Kelly

Kelly and Tim

It was a wonderful Christmas with the family. Kelly, my brother's girlfriend and one of my best friends, came on the 28th and spent a lot of time with us. It was so great to have everyone in Colorado for Christmas and I am looking forward to next year when 2 new littles ones will, hopefully, be there! My sister, Shannon, is expecting her third child, due in July, so it'll be great to see the whole family back together again with the new additions :) There is so much in store for us this year!! <3